Have you ever had those days where you feel as if there is a missing piece of the life puzzle; that you feel incomplete; or that you feel like you’re standing still and the world is rushing past you?

That’s me. Every day. Even when my day is completely full balancing running a small business, studying four subjects at uni, writing here (and from the two month gap in articles, you can certainly see where I lapsed) whilst keeping on top of my health and trying to get rid of the many, many kilos gained after shoulder surgery and a run of steroids after a leg infection. Whew! Just writing that was exhausting.

Add to that, the continued lockdowns in Melbourne as a result of COVID-19 and you have the perfect recipe to either a) self-destruct or b) self-reinvent. I haven’t decided which path I am taking, but it’s heading more towards option b, if my friends and my very strong-willed partner have anything to do with it.

I’ve tried many times over the years to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life; whether it was to be a war correspondent (mum vetoed that), a surgeon (dissecting a rat in high school killed that), a historian (I got bored) or a professional tennis player (shoulder injury saw to the end of that). I’ve also dabbled in writing in a few industries through internships and volunteer roles, but converting them to paid positions were quite difficult, seeing as I was already willing to write for ‘free’ in exchange for exposure and access. *eyeroll* But over the past two years, I’ve been able to ‘grow up’ in a sense and finally start to set down roots into a life direction. I wasn’t one of those fortunate souls who, from a young age, knew exactly where they were going in life, and so, through my 20s, floated around aimlessly dabbling in different areas to try and elicit some sort of passion or interest.

Deep down, I think I’ve always wanted to write, and this is why I’m here. Writing is cathartic for me, and irrespective of there being any readers or not, the thoughts that keep knocking about in my head have an outlet.

However, the greater picture still needs some significant tweaking, but it makes sense to tackle it bit by bit. The ultimate goal, is to own my own home. However, that requires saving up for a deposit, having a stable income that can sustain the repayments and associated costs etc etc. Getting to that stage, requires taking a leaf out of the Barefoot Investor’s book and ensuring that other debts are taken care of first. In this aspect, the lockdown has been helpful in that I have stopped shopping. Mainly because the stores I shop at don’t have online shopping, Australia Post is terrible and I prefer to see the items in person before making a purchase. Consequently, I’ve been able to pay down three of the five cards I have (once upon a time I was points cycling and it got out of hand) and am well positioned to crush two remaining ones within the next 12 months. However, to help me get to the goal, I’ve had to decide as to whether or not a new (used) car is a need spend, or a want spend. I have a 2006 model which has only got about 120k on the clock and is still in really good condition, excluding the front bumper damaged that my dad helpfully made being stubborn. (Apparently the wall was supposed to move out of the way). Given that I really just want the functions of a reverse camera and bluetooth integration (need) and heated seats (want), it made more sense to get a system upgrade for about $2k then it would be to drop $45k on another car. At this point in time, I’m still waiting to get it installed, but it is certainly quite exciting.

Secondly, I’ve simplified my wardrobe down to the ‘Zuckerberg Collection’ – I literally live in jeans and t-shirts every day, from H&M. Main reason for this is because I am trying to lose weight (anywhere from 40-50kg) so these cheaper garments won’t break my heart when I need to replace them with a new capsule wardrobe when I’m at my target weight. The second reason is that I still have lingering allergy symptoms from a reaction to meds so cotton is really the only thing I can wear. That and my 28 pairs of compression tights for the gym…

Thirdly, I have been cooking more – buying in bulk from Costco and portioning it out for multiple meals. I also eat very simply due to the diet so I’m also really just stocking the fridge with wombok, different proteins, bone broth and yoghurt. And ice cream. Need to cut that for a bit but I’m indulging for now…

One sign that confirms I’m on the right track is my most recent teaching period results from uni – a full time load with online study is 2 units – I took 4 this time round despite COVID-19 and its impact on the business and my mental health but surprised myself with a 3.0 GPA (4 point scale) and distinctions for all subjects. I was always a good student, but procrastination and lack of self-belief kind of ruined things along the way, so this is certainly a powerful reminder of the fact that I can actually achieve things. Now I just have to keep this up for the next three teaching periods (one year) in order to finish this degree. Easier said then done of course.

Wish me luck