Hello reader!

I decided to change the layout of the blog to a simpler one – the colour combination of the old styling was giving me the sads.

Happy end of 2023! I say that with as much false cheer and happy face as I can manage. I am definitely being a bit dramatic, but it is true – what was stability is now upended, thanks to a bout of workplace bullying.

Yes, it has happened again. Except this time round, it is definitely about the other person and not myself – this is someone who has made the rounds targeting just about everyone on the team, so it’s lovely that it’s now my turn on the carousel of pettiness.

There have been some upsides – have been trained in new departments which maximizes my ability to pick up shifts and it has kind of redirected me back into preferring morning work (although the partner and the puppy also have quite a significant say in this), but avenues to change over are still in the distance. I also found the courage to approach management this time so that it was not something I had to deal with privately; unfortunately, said person is well experienced in this behaviour, and because there has never been any reprimand for it in the past, systemically continues – so I’m currently on head down duty and just showing up, doing job and going home to a loving partner and adoring doggo and just trying to keep a rein on my mental health and ensure that I don’t let another person’s insecurities become my problem. (in Aussie Rules terms, the art of the handball :D)

This occurrence brings me back to a conversation I had with a very wise (former) colleague, where she uttered a statement that has stuck with me – “hurt people hurt people.” Having given myself time to reflect on this, it is certainly true – in both circumstances of bullying experienced this year, there have been significant life issues with the perpetrators – what is unfair is that they have been very petty matters to be upset over, and also WHY ME?

I’m not the type of person to make new year’s resolutions because I am terrible at keeping at them, but I think this year, I will try to make some promises to myself as goals to achieve. Of course, if anyone knows the key to manifesting things, get in touch – I think the universe can’t hear me :D.

My plans for 2024 are as follows:
– establish a proper routing (work, study, gym, self-care)
– lose weight. Between surgery and pericarditis and Long COVID-19 and chronic fatigue, I think I now need to lose between 40-50kg.
– sort out existing debt
– improve mental health (it hasn’t been bad so far; the bully has just made it take a step back which isn’t excellent).
– Finish my degree (4 subjects to go yay!)
– improve baseline health (I am seeing the rheumatologist in January and am hopefully am getting my hands on the better drugs to help me not be so tired during the day; also seeing the GP next week to get all my tests done and try to handle some niggling issues).
– LIVE – I think this is the most important thing – I have been a bit quite on the life front lately, due to a combination of working too much; being too ill and being a little down. 2024 is the year to make time for friends and other family and to be happy.

We will check back this time next year to see whether or not ANY of these have been achieved – knowing me, it’s unlikely I will hit them but I am really trying hard to master some aspects of adulthood, even when people who never emotionally matured after primary school try to tear you down. (Yes I am still somewhat bitter about the turn of events at work – does it show?)

I’m going to be in mega study mode the next few weeks, so I will take the time now to wish you all a happy, safe and prosperous New Year; may 2024 bring you everything you hoped for and hoping for once that good things swing to our side and the bullies don’t win this time.

Bx