Happy new year everyone! It’s been a while since we have connected here, due to a combination of ever worsening health, Christmas crazy and a cavalcade of issues that seem to never end, are easy to deal with but take up too much of your time.

It’s also around the anniversary of when this blog started – I know this only because WordPress sent me a helpful email reminding me to pay up. Bills come by quickly but progress seems to take forever!

So, what has happened since the last time I wrote and now? So so so much! Not just for me personally, but in the public sphere too. There’s a new occupant at the White House and I cannot express how glad I am that there is, despite everything that happened in the lead up to Inauguration Day. I remember being insanely angry about Jan 6, the now infamous Insurrection Day, incited by a sore loser President and his conspiracy theory believing supporters who ironically, decry democracy and support authoritarianism whilst claiming to be fighting for your freedoms. Makes your brain hurt, doesn’t it? I was asked by my fellow contemporaries why I was so incensed by what was happening given that it doesn’t affect us in Australia. But that is not true. There is an old saying that ‘When America sneezes, the world catches a cold”. In 2016, they sneezed out a racist, xenophobic, misogynistic conman who probably had his fingers crossed when he promised to fulfil and protect the constitution, and gave voice and power to those fringe operators who have always promoted division in society, in particular white supremacists and groups like Proud Boys.

We have started to see elements of Trumpism float into our political and societal spheres here in Australia. Just look at the 2019 Australian Federal Election where mining fat cat Clive Palmer ran on an ‘Australia First’ policy that effectively mirrored Trump’s campaign. Fortunately in Australia we effectively treated him like a clown and ignored him, however, Queenslanders gave both him and Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party enough votes to effectively turn the tide of the election in favour of Scott Morrison and the Liberal Party. Granted, Bill Shorten was a terrible opposition leader, always projecting an air of distrust and questionable morality, but it was supposed to be the unlosable election.

In addition to this, the comments made by the current Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack in response to Insurrection Day points to a lean influenced by Trumpiansim. Granted that McCormack was probably promoted to Nationals leader for being ‘less awful’ then Barnaby Joyce, but the bar does not seem to be set very high.

Enough about politics though, and let’s go to a more personalised review of the past couple of months. What have I been up to?

Like I said, Christmas. That was bonkers. Usually my menu is planned by the end of October, grocery lists divided by stores written by November and by mid December, cooking and baking has started. 2020? Not so organised. We didn’t find out til late October/November what the allowances per household would be so there was no point planning in advance. When we finally got the green light, it took another few weeks to pin down what fresh produce my uncle who works in hospitality, was bringing to the table. Add to that stressing about a poor Christmas sales cycle (not helped by the lack of jackpots and head office;s inability to realise that they were actively undercutting the retailer network) and trying to navigate a post-lockdown world where customers, enriched by the additional financial assistance granted by the government, stopped treating customer service staff as humans and effectively Karen’ed them all.

On a tangent here, is there something about being a customer that has an automatic effect on ones common sense, manners and civility? Working during lockdown wasn’t too bad – we were quiet but customers were generally happy to see us and were super friendly. Now? Money and cards get thrown at you. People don’t say please or thank you but expect you to bow down to them for buying a newspaper. They won’t touch your hand by placing their cash in it (which is fine) but expect you to touch their hand to place the change back into it. We have been called every name under the sun for imposing social distancing protocols and limiting numbers in store. The customers who cut in line (and pretend to ‘no speak English’) bring their adult children back to threaten us with legal action or to get their policeman husbands to arrest us for advising their precious mother that there is queue and to please respect the others who are in line. (For the record, said lady understands English perfectly). We have been told off for accepting cash (which we need to in order to pay out prizes) and have had a customer get mad because I told her I would not be accepting the money she pulled out from her bra, socks or waistband. COVID-19 has brought out the absolute best in some people, and has given us the likes of Anthony Fauci and Brett Sutton to fangirl over, but it has also shone a spotlight on one of the main issues with this generation – a narcissistic, self-serving, ‘it will never happen to me’ mentality who challenge authority not out of research or deep knowledge, but because they want their 15 minutes of social media fame, or because they think they are ‘sticking it up to the man’. History has been littered with those who went against the grain and fought for a greater cause, but this was often executed with a just cause and proper reasoning behind it. Just look at the guys caught at the Capitol who were then claiming to ‘not know what they were doing was wrong; that they thought there were merely there for a peaceful protest’ but were armed with guns and zip ties. They all thought they were fighting for a greater cause, unaware that they were in fact, rallying against the very foundation of their country that a little bit of simple research outside of Facebook and Twitter could have easily availed them of committing a crime. Social media and our instant need for gratification has led to a lazier way of information seeking and consumption. Who wants to read a peer-reviewed journal article when we can just look for a dumbed down version on Wikipedia, or a heavily edited version through someone’s YouTube explanation video, or even a blog!

Anyway, time to veer back from the tangent and talk about another change I have made through the break – I have started Reformer Pilates with Kx Pilates. A studio has opened up close to home and reformer comes highly recommended by my physios for shoulder recovery, so I took advantage of the opening special and got straight into it.

Is it hard? Yes. Especially when you have let your fitness levels lapse significantly through the lockdown and have only really been working a small set of muscles with a very light set of weights. A few things I have learnt that I have not been able to do comfortably include raise my legs up straight to 90 degrees. There’s always a slight bend in my legs. I can’t even touch my toes and I was always someone who could flatten their palms on the ground. I think my middle finger hovers about 25 centimeters off the ground. I also can’t chest press heavier than 2kg dumbbells. As someone who was comfortably pressing the 12kg ones at F45 prior to surgery, it’s been really hard not crying at the absolute decimation of my physical abilities. The third thing that is killing me is a low kneel. My thighs last about 30 seconds before crying foul and everything hurts through to my toes. But on the bright side, 20 sessions in and I’m making small improvements here and there and am really starting

Apparently age 30 is when everything goes to crap. Well, look at me. Everything is starting to fall off the wagon and I’m more tired than ever. There’s a part of me that is glad I’m not a parent because I’m barely coping as is. Fortunately my support system is strong and I have been able to filter through the trainers at the studio and pick ones who work with me well. Sort of makes me wonder though, how people who haven’t quite got to the point of being able to ask for help from others, are coping. I was that person for a long time and I was internalising it to the point where a breakdown actually felt normal and I did not realise how much harm I was doing to myself. I’m not out of the woods yet, but the little bits and pieces I have done to try and improve things is helping and hopefully the specialists I am seeing over the course of this year can a) give me a diagnosis and b) help me manage it if it can’t be cured.

I really should make a promise to post regularly, but then I will put myself in a position to break my promise. So, I will try my best to talk more this year, but please don’t be disappointed with my silences.

Stay well, be safe and (again), happy new year!