Hey everyone,

Apologies for the delay in any writing since August – Uni hit the tough end of the schedule (assignments were due practically every week) and I got pretty sick through September, and am still waiting for follow up tests now before I can figure out what to do going forward.

Melbourne is still in lockdown. Whilst we no longer have a curfew, we are mandated to wear a fitted mask or risk a fine. We still can’t travel further then a 5km (3.16 miles) radius from our home but we can go ‘essential’ shopping with another member of our household.

I am one of the fortunate people who has been able to work through the stage 4 restrictions, and for that I am incredibly grateful, however, as someone who has tried really hard to stick to the rules and was threatened with a fine for being given the wrong information by the police, no less, it is incredibly annoying to see people wilfully breaking the rules not face any consequences for their actions. As a result, we now have three major clusters in Victoria and the ability to progress forward this weekend has stagnated to the point where I’m not even sure our fellow shopkeepers in the centre will be coming back before November.

Today, we are sitting at 15 cases, with the 14 day rolling average at 9.9. The rolling average figure is the measure through which the government will decide how we proceed with easing restrictions in both metro and regional Melbourne. It’s not quite heading in the direction that we would like to fully achieve ‘the next step’ however, according to the Premier, there will be a stronger focus on easing social restrictions, perhaps to combat the mental health issues that are skyrocketing as a result of the continued lockdowns.

In the discussion of mental health, it’s not just depression or anxiety or stress that is hurting people. It’s loneliness, isolation and for many who have lost their jobs or are unable to access any income support, it’s trying to put food on the table, or deteriorating mental states as a result of a combination of losing financial and personal security, snowballing into other areas. The government has continued to pour money into aid resources, such as increasing access to telehealth services and awarding more Medicare covered psychology services. However, this is not the answer. Sitting there and talking to someone three times a week does not help with paying the rent. It might make you feel better, or help you cope, but that bill is still present at the end of the day; it still needs to be paid, and whilst you might feel better psychologically, your wallet is still empty.

For now, life is on pause. I’m still working everyday and I think I managed a distinction average studying four subjects (two is full time) but I still feel like we are all standing still and just waiting for something to happen. Whether it is an easing of restrictions and returning to trade, albeit controlled and COVIDsafe, or something else that helps us feel like ourselves again.

I certainly don’t feel like myself, but I am fortunate enough to have a great support system in place with some of the best friends you could ask for in this world, a strong family structure and an amazing partner who has helped me grow so much over the past year. But I have still struggled. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I have to stop and take a deep breath when I see people being stupid to stop myself from berating them. I have to hold my tongue when my customers are being idiots (most of the time). For anyone out there who is finding this extended lockdown hard (we are almost at 80 days), you are not alone.

Good luck everyone, and hopefully we get some brighter news this weekend and we can all hit play.